Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
