He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
