I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
