im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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