So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
my liver is dry heaving
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
