Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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