someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
