Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
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