Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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