dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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