so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize