I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
