you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
