Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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