Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
