The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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