Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
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