So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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