Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
