so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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