As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
