I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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