Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
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