At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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