He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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