It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
