Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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