I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Randomize
