Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
