Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
