It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Can you bring me the toilet please
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
