Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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