I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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