Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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