Don't make out with my wife yet
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Girls should come with a carfax report
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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