also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
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