remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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