oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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