I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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