T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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