i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
