how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
