can we get nightvision for the apartment?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
