I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
