And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
