I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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