im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Small penises have feelings too.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I made him laugh his dick is mine
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
