One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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