so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Michael Bay diarrhea
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
