good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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