Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
