There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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