my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
