Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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