and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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