I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
