he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
